…A Songfic Gone Horribly Wrong…
by joebthegreat
Summary: Well... it would be your typical dramatic poem with people doing stuff in the background... but stuff happens... right? Rated R for Random and T for Tuberculosis.


**A Songfic Gone Horribly Wrong…**

**Chapter Only: The whole story…**

Disclaimer: I don't own the idea of making fun of stuff that I don't like… France does. I also don't own this game, these characters, or whatever else you can think of in this story… but I do own the lyrics…

Disclaimer of the Disclaimer: France may/may not actually own making fun of stuff…

_Reviews: _YEKDED

Joeb: wow… I hate you and your weird nipples…

Disclaimer of the Reviews: I stole the insulting phrase about Joeb from the Andy Milonakas show…

_Gold Stars:_

5 if you read it

10 if you skip this and just review without ever having read the thing

15 if you can hear my voice every night…

YAY!

I've been pressured by various different legal companies into making another one-shot that vaguely insults the romance thingamabob known as regular fan fiction…

Sadly, I don't read regular fan fiction… so this probably wont be very accurate… at all… in any way…

ICP!

* * *

_As the snow fell down_

Link walked over to Zelda's room and opened it.

_And the birds fell from the sky_

He grinned when it was empty and started stealing her jewelry.

_The world will end_

Link then started screaming in pleasure as he bashed his head into her TV.

_Umm… I forgot my line_

Link looked around confused, as he wasn't used to going through life without odd sounding lyrics constantly playing after everything he did in a vain attempt to sound dramatic.

"Umm… hello? Where's the music?" Link yelled in frustration, his hemorrhoids beginning to act up as usual.

"OW! Dude that hurts! WAH!" Link cried rolling around on the floor in pain.

_Ok… here we go… And people will scream_

Link immediately got up and started re-bashing his head into Zelda's TV

_Babies will be… umm… did someone switch my lines? IS THIS A JOKE?_

Link got frustrated again… his hemorrhoids started acting up again… this time one of the strange bulges in his bum exploded causing him immense pain.

"OW! I'm the freaking hero of time! I shouldn't have hemorrhoids!" Link cried out to God.

"Hey, leave me out of this… it's your fault you have such bad hygiene!" God replied in anger.

"You make me cry!" Link said as he rolled on the floor, getting a brownish-red color everywhere.

_Alright then… I got the ACTUAL script… here we go… And people will scream_

Link got up looking heroic, he bashed his head into the TV with reinforced vigor. He refused to lose to the voice's incompetence.

_The sadness will spread_

Link then turned with his face all bloody, a creepy smile on his face. His eyes immediately went to the window. He grinned with a grin that grinned across his entire grinning face… it looked dramatic.

_As people all say_

Link started to charge at the window whilst screaming happily.

_I wish… I… I… WHO KEEPS MESSING WITH THE SCRIPT? STOP IT!_

Link was about to dive at the window, but the lack of a dramatic poem to back him up caused him to collapse head first onto a conveniently placed spike pit. He didn't die…

Rats ate Link's brain… he still didn't die…

Then he learned that his favorite dog… Scruppy… had died… so he killed himself. He wasn't dead though.

"Why am I not dieing?" Link asked confused.

_Because I can't finish the poem if the story goes wrong!_

"Oh ok…" Link said.

_Alright… As people all say… I wish you had more hair_

Link popped up and jumped at the window, it didn't break. His body slapped against the glass and made an odd sounding crackling noise, he screamed as he had been paralyzed from the neck sideways. With half of his neck paralyzed, he could only eat through his butt… something he normally did anyway.

_The embarrassment continues_

Zelda walked in looking flustered, but then she saw Link. She started laughing her head off. Her head then fell off. Zelda died.

_You have to ask yourself, why?_

"Why?" Link asked himself.

_Then you…_

"Ok, what's happening now…" Link asked/stated because there was no question mark and so he couldn't have possibly physically asked.

"…"

Zelda's dead body farted.

"…"

Zelda's dead body farted.

"…"

Zelda's dead body farted.

"…"

Zelda's dead body farted.

"…"

Zelda's dead body farted.

Hoogiman and tikitikirevenge sued Joeb for copyright infringement stuff

"This sucks… I can't live life without dramatic yet pathetic lyrics after almost every movement I make!" Link cried.

_I don't want to be an American idiot!_

Link sighed as thousands of fan girls everywhere screamed.

"Not really! Green Day is SOO 2005! In 2006 it's trendy to HATE Green Day!" Some zit filled nerd said as the thousands of fan girls nodded in agreement and burned their whole life history… again…

_WILL YOU JUST LET US PUT LYRICS HERE!_

"No… not until you find a song that isn't trendy, and yet is still known by every 12-18 year old in the planet" The zit filled freak said. Then his zits ate his brain. He died.

Hoogiman and tikitikirevenge seriously sued Joeb for that copyright issue… again…

_And that's why we hate life!_

Link cried as he looked at all the destruction he had caused. He started to slowly, sadly leave the room.

_No one will ever understand!_

Link laughed to himself at all that he had been through in these few short years. He continued walking.

_So maybe you should all just go away!_

Link was still walking.

_Leave me alone, I just don't want to play!_

And Link is still walking.

_Don't you understand, I am just a freak!_

Link was still walking.

_And then… (the singers choked and died on a piece of telephone pole before they could finish)_

Link stopped walking, the music that directed his life had been ruined. Life could never go back to it's normal, useless state ever again. He then died from a yeast infection.

_Living in… September…_

Then Kirby, DK, Falco, Samus, and Marth all ran up and killed themselves in order to make this an SSBM fic and not just a Zelda fic or something equally sexy.

_Umm… yeah…

* * *

_

YAY!

Tell me that wasn't dramatic!

That was the most dramatic thing I've ever heard!

Especially the end… I worked for HOURS to get that end to sound… just… soo… perfect…

I love how the Umm… yeah comes in at the end… it really makes you think about life… and the… stuff… it does…

This is seriously like… the best thing ever…

EVER I SAY!

And if you didn't think so… then you need to stop thinking for yourself and start being mature like the rest of us sophisticated people!

OMGLIEZ! IF U FLAM U GET SHOTZORZ BY MI CANON OF DOOMZORZ AN DY AN STUF! LOLZORZLIEZ!

How unoriginal… almost everyone I know does a parody about bad stories… so what we need is a parody of parodies of bad stories… but that wont come until summer… when the trends change YET AGAIN!

R&RTMHFIAWAYAJOMBYHNL! Read and Review Telling Me How Funny I Am When Actually You Are Just Overrating Me Because You Have No Life!


End file.
